My Cousin is a Reality TV Star
But, you already know that.
Last night was the highly-anticipated season premiere of the Bachelor starring Ben F. who you all know and love as the great guy Bow-Legs dumped last season on the Bachelorette.
He’s since bounced back and now finds himself the object of affection of twenty-five “dental hygenists and ‘account managers’” many of whom seemingly just departed a greyhound from Crazytown. Let’s face it, sometimes the roses seem to be the only real things on the show, but we still watch, hoping that Ben finds his true love in front of America.
What I can say is real is Ben. I’m constantly astonished by how genuine he is on the show — what you’re seeing on television is the same Ben I’ve known my whole life. Thanks goodness for this. It warms my heart every time I tune in.
Sure, some of these girls may look like monsters without all their makeup and hair extensions — actually, some of these cray-crays may in fact actually BE monsters if the nasty comments the cameras are already catching are any indication — but let’s not forget that they all have feelings, which seem real, too. It’s hard not to sympathize with their heartbreak when the snobs and snot start flowing.
Hey, imagine if the contestant was your cousin.
My favorite girls so far, not that you asked:
Grandma Girl — loved her dress and the nana power play demands some respect. But not sure she had a lot to say…
Horse Girl — pretty and seemingly intelligent AND the recipient of the first rose.
Model Girl — she has CRAZY eyes and a Kiera Knightly mouth, yes - but you might recall Ben commenting “now there’s a pretty girl” when she arrived.
Rachel — despite the nose stud, I liked her immediately.
Rapping Doctor — sure, I cringed, but I liked her just the same.
I can’t even remember the rest of them. The one with the hat? The one with the beef nuts? The ugly, mean one with the ponytail? The ones with the lazy eyes? The emotional mess who wants to share a Tampon? The with the “Dumpsville population YOU” text breakup? Thankfully we have three months to get to know them all!
Missed the premiere? Watch it now on ABC.com and get in the game.
